Thelma and Louise

London to Venice by train - a Thelma & Louise group city break.

 

 

 

Imagine this: Thelma (that's me) is lying on a padded shelf, three feet from the ceiling of a cubicle about the size of a pantry. Louise (that's Jenny) has the other top shelf. Below us, on one of the middle shelves, lies a bald-headed, topless Frenchman. Five other Thelma and Louises- Pam, Lisa, Sue, Sharon and Elaine, occupy the shelves of the cubicle next door. There should really only be four people in there, but no-one is prepared to lie next to the bald headed, topless Frenchman ("too much skin") in ours', so sardines it is for them. Together we're hurtling through the night on the Thello night sleeper train from Paris to Venice – a train with a demented driver. He knows only two speeds:- maximum -where the train careers down the track, rattling and shaking, and we hold tight to our shelves and try to shut out the racket of the rails (and the occasional scream from Sue), - and full stop- where the blessed silence lets us finally drift into sleep for a moment, only to be jolted awake by a loud banging, screeching and shunting before speeding off again. The dining car was at the opposite end of the train. We still have the bruises to show for that scary journey, thrown from side to side down the corridors, with Pam squealing as she jumped the partly open gaps between the carriages. The reward was a miserable salad, served by a hopeless waitress who couldn't get the orders right. And lets not mention the smell of the toilets, or the fact that the Frenchman had locked us out when we got back (" thees eez a vairee dangerous train"). He was right about that! 

And who's brilliant idea was this? Mia Culpa. I'd travelled on sleeper trains before, but back in the days when the wheels made a comforting "gruddly pod gruddly pod" sort of sound, and eating in the dining car was a luxury. So - London to Venice by train with a group of Thelma & Louise friends -what fun! And it wasn't hard to sell the idea – six signed up right away- (fools!).

Five of them boarded the 1000am Eurostar at St. Pancras, I got on at Ashford, and Lisa, already in Paris, met us all at the Gare du Nord. From there we took the metro to Notre Dame and walked over to the Isle St. Louis, picking up savouries and rhubarb tarts from a boulangerie en route. With the famous cathedral opposite, we dangled our feet over the River Seine, fed the ducks and passed a happy afternoon in the sun. Then it was over to the Gare de Lyon for pre-train aperitifs in the famous Le Train Bleu restaurant in the station buffet. Built in 1900 for the Paris Exhibition, its' ornate rooms in the style of " La Belle Epoque" almost overwhelm you with their sculptures, paintings, cherubims, gold leaf,and chandeliers . "Very fancy" said Sue. Pity the trains didn't match up!

Somehow, we got through the night. In the morning, our arrival in Venice made up for everything. Is there any railway station in the world so perfectly situated? Going by the stunned looks on the faces of our first-timers, as we stood on the station steps, with the Grand Canal and the boats immediately below us, I think I might have been forgiven.. Then a short walk to our accommodation in a tall house by a quiet canal – the Casa Carburlotto, run by the religious order of St.Joseph's daughters. Yes, a monastery -or rather, a nunnery, for there were no monks, only smiling nuns in long white habits. Our rooms were simple and clean, no food was provided, but there was a coffee machine, a kitchen and a peaceful garden where we could sit and eat. There's a curfew at 11pm and they ask you to behave and dress respectfully. If you want a quiet, affordable place to stay in Venice, it's perfect. In fact, I liked it, and Venice, so much, I'm thinking of becoming a nun....!

After settling in, we decided we deserved a slap-up lunch. Around the corner, with tables on the edge of the water, we found the Osteria Venexiana. When they heard we were staying with the nuns, they gave us aperitifs on the house. I don't know what was in them, but from then on, we were on a roll! We had all heard how expensive Venice was, but their 3 course lunch menu (mine was fish soup, salmon and squid with rocket, and fruit salad) at 13 Euros was a nice surprise. We washed it down with an Italian wine and began to feel human again. Afterwards, we just wandered the streets and gazed at all the magnificent old buildings, shops, people and boats, stopping for tea when our legs got tired. Of course, we longed for a gondola ride, but at 100Euros it was a bit pricey. But Pam was a crafty negotiator and, while we hid round a corner, she got us one for 80Euros. Shared between six, it was just affordable, and an unforgettable experience. OK, so our gondolier smoked and talked on his mobile, and said he only sang in the bath, but we loved it. Thank you Sue for electing to stay on the shore and be photographer (gondolas take a maximum of 6 passengers). Then we gate-crashed the posh Hotel Danieli (suites 9,900 Euros/night), but got thrown out by a large bouncer- obviously I didn't QUITE look like Angelina Jolie... We settled for a photo outside instead!

It was getting dark. The day trippers and cruise ships had left, and the Piazza San Marco, which Napoleon called "the drawing room of Europe", was gearing up for the lovers. Jazz quartets crooned at the outdoor cafes, and elastic band powered helicopters lit the sky with their LED lights. At 1 Euro each from the hawkers, I was an easy touch. I swear I heard a snigger from the four bronze horses on the Basilica... We left them silhouetted against the darkening sky, and headed for the Vaporetto boat home. We had each bought a 48 hour pass for 30 Euros, giving us unlimited travel within that period. We would be travelling by boat from now on. The Grand Canal at night has to be one of the best boat journeys ever,-illuminated facades of the Renaissance palaces , and whiffs of frying fish from the canal-side restaurants. We were so tired, we made do with a large piece of pizza from a take-away , ate it standing up, then tottered exhausted to our beds. Crisp white cotton sheets, and silence – what a contrast to the night before! We slept like logs.

Saturday- another hot sunny day, so we decided to spend it visiting the islands in the lagoon, by Vaporetto boat, of course. We left early, having heard the boats get crowded at the week-ends. Murano was our first stop -home of the famous glass, and we lost no time in buying souvenirs. It's possible to visit the glass blowing workshops, but we opted for people watching at a canal-side cafe (with the grumpiest waiter ever.) Then over to catch the boat to the next island, Burano -only to find that, while we were lazily shopping and drinking, time had flown, and now there were long queues for the boats. Standing in the boiling sun in a crowd of people is not my idea of fun, especially as I was now starving hungry too. Our boat, when we got on it, was so packed that I feared the tiny island of Burano would be over-run with people and we'd be forced to eat in some over-priced tourist trap when we got there. I was getting as grumpy as our waiter! But luck was with us, as down a side street we found Da Forner, a hidden gem of a restaurant, who's owners gave us a big welcome and served us in the cool interior with a 19 Euro menu, washed down with rose wine at 12 Euros a litre. We had two jugs of that -(which had a magical effect on my grumpiness!). I seem to remember a little weaving about and singing as we walked up the street afterwards, but it's all a bit hazy now. I do remember Burano – the colours of the little houses-greens,pinks,yellows,purples, the women stringing washing across the street, the ice creams, the tree I lay under while we waited for the next boat....all unforgettable.

But Pam had an enticing plan for us, so we moved on. The Lido, our third and biggest island had, apparently, a film festival that day,and who knows, perhaps we might catch a glimpse of Johnny Depp (or anyone really!). No such luck! We did see some very smartly dressed Italians , but gave up on seeing the Stars and headed for the beach. This was entertainment in itself, as it was full of men wearing Speedos (or "budgie smugglers"as Lisa called them). We averted our eyes (didn't we?) and had a paddle in the sea, before realising it was nearly Happy Hour and we needed to find a cafe. ("Happy Hour" and "Ice-cream o'clock" were fixtures in our days.) I liked the Lido. There were very few tourists, apart from us. There were families with children, people coming home from work, everyday life, Italian style. And all the wonders of Venice just across the water. And so we went 'home' to our stand-up- pizza- by- the -canal, and our nuns with the white swishy skirts.

Sunday -and we didn't have to go to mass! We went instead on the boat to the Ghetto area, where all the Jews lived in the days of the Venetian Republic (they were locked in at night and let out in the morning - living like this for more than two and a half centuries). Shylock, the main character in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice no doubt came from here. In the main square, surrounded by the towering tenements, it did feel very insular. Lunch at an Irish Pub (!), then onto another boat to the Piazza San Marco again. By now the heat from the sun was fierce. Jenny and I opted out of queueing with the others to see inside the Chiesa de San Marco, and found ourself a seat in the shade to people watch. Suddenly, one of the people we were watching collapsed! His wife asked for help, and we found ourselves running across the square and, with the help of our very bad Italian, managed to track down a couple of medics. Sun stroke is a scary thing. We left him in good hands and went off to tour the Doges Palace. It's not at all to my taste, not being a big fan of Tintoretto, but we enjoyed peering out from the Bridge of Sighs at the gondolas passing underneath. Legend has it that if you kiss in a gondola under the Bridge of Sighs at sunset, you will have eternal love and bliss. I suspect it takes a little more than that, but it's a nice custom!

It was our last night in Venice. In the morning we would split into two groups, one returning to Paris and London, and the other travelling on to Slovenia. So we were thrilled to find a cafe around the corner from our Monastery which served really cheap drinks for "Happy Hour" and free nibbles as well! Then it was back to the Osteria Venexiana again, where we had booked a table in advance. This time, we not only got free aperitifs, but free digestifs as well! Venice certainly hadn't been as expensive as we expected. In the morning, Barbara arrived to join the party going to Slovenia, and Lisa, Jennie, Sharon and I headed for Padova, where we planned to spend the day, before catching the train back to Paris. We nearly missed our stop at Padova, only realising at the very last minute that we had arrived. Panic! You've have died laughing at us trying to get off that train fast- even trying to get out the wrong side!

Perhaps, in retrospect, we shouldn't have bothered. Padua may be "Venice's overlooked little sister", but after Venice, she can only be a disappointment. To be fair, our timing wasn't good. There were road works outside the station, and no open top buses appeared to be running. By the time we had walked down to the Scrovegni Chapel, seen the wonderful Giotto frescoes, lunched, and arrived at the Palazzo della Ragione, the farmers' market was over, and the whole town seemed empty, with only us mad Englishwomen wandering about in the midday sun. After finding ourselves in a very seedy area, with some dodgy characters and a strong police presence, we escaped to the relative safety of the railway station buffet, to wait for the dreaded Runaway Train. Only this time it was better. We had a compartment to ourselves, avoided the dining car by eating a picnic in situ, and slept reasonably well. I remember waking up in Milan at about one o' clock in the morning to find our cabin lit up by the station lights and a crowd of people on the platform gazing in at us. We weren't wearing much in the way of nightclothes, so we had to quickly pull up our sheets!

We woke in Paris next morning to find it raining heavily. After dropping off luggage at our hotel, we headed to the Marais quarter for a long lunch. Luck was on our side – we were stopped in the street by a Jewish man who seemed to want to practise his English. Lisa had the foresight to ask him if he knew any good places to eat in the vicinity, and before we knew it, we were out of the rain, and into a tiny restaurant, packed with men with long black beards and yarmulkes! We were made very welcome, given a trestle table at the back , and served with the most delicious falafel. Definitely a place to return to on a future trip.. Lisa, being a semi Paris resident, had provided us all with carnets of bus/metro tickets, so off we then went to Galeries Lafayette, until the rain stopped and we walked back along the river to the Eiffel Tower, and a relaxing drink in her apartment. After a quick freshen up at our hotel, we met up for yet another delicious meal (well, this was Paris after all...).

Too soon, the time came next morning to catch the bus to the Gare du Nord, and the Eurostar back home. We had had the most fantastic 6 day adventure -and I THINK they're still speaking to me.......

London to Paris: www.eurostar.com

Paris to Venice: www.thello.com

More train info: www.seat61.com

Casa Carburlotto: www.monasterystays.com ( ref. VEV101)